The Pineapple Diary

Resolution Revolution

In thinking of New Year's resolutions this year, the above idea came to mind. I call it "Resolution Revolution".

In years past I've been thoughtful, reflective, and goal oriented in considering my approach for the upcoming year.

This year, I'm just driving my wheels over all that and cruising forward. Goal-less. Aimless. Except perhaps, to have fun. To do what makes me happy.

Why the revolution? Here's the really short version. I'm due this May with my 2nd child. I'm over the moon to give Miles a little sister, but there have been some surprises and twists and it's taken me months to make sense of it. The week I found out I was expecting I was offered my first trade picture book job. Two weeks later, I turned the job down.

If I were a different artist, person, or mother I could have made it work. But I'm just me. And me couldn't find a way to make it work. Should I be thrilled that I was at least offered the job? Of course. But I've been mired in a creative depression, mixed with morning sickness, and scrambled together with a feeling of 'Now what?'.

After months of not sketching, not blogging, and just not caring, I finally got the urge to do something. I blogged on PBJ's about G. Brian Karas' book 'Clever Jack Takes the Cake' last week so I decided to use a similar technique (pencil and gouache on ribbed paper) to get my hand on a brush and finish something. Here's a detail:

I'm not sure what's next. But I thought it was about time I shared. And painted. Phew.

Where have I been?

Phew! I almost turned into a total puddle!!! Just in the nick of time, I'm taking a month off from freelance design work to make time for illustration. I have so many projects started that NEED to get done in the next month. It should be fun and busy busy busy.

I have an exciting event to go to this weekend so I'm dusting my physical portfolio off and getting that together first. Then comes a piece for a gallery, two promotional pieces, and somewhere in there... my dummy! Geesh. I've already written a list longer than my paper. Don't we all do that?

I look forward to sharing the details from my little hush-hush event next week - and better blogging (for a few weeks)!

Up Close

The other day I was resizing an image digitally and was zoomed right in. I love the look of gouache on paper up close and personal. Flaws, bumps, dirt, bits of pencil peeking through, and brush strokes I could do better next time. I haven't painted in an embarrassingly long time. I need to remedy that soon. All my 'free' time has been taken up with freelance graphic/book design work. I'm revising my goals each day, taking a breath, and knowing this busy time won't last forever.

Crafty Folk

My friend Jen (aka Recovergirl) coordinated the above event. Doesn't it sound wonderful? The Portsmouth Library is one of my favorite places to visit.

It's timed nicely to coordinate with The Button Factory's Open Studios. I still haven't seen Handmade Nation so I'm hoping to make it to this AND the Open Studios. I've had my eye on this artist's lovely necklaces since a farmer's market earlier this year. (She's on the first floor) I think one of them might be my Christmas present, I'll even wrap it up for hubby to give to me!

Working it out, keeping it a secret

I've finally broken past the mental block(s) about an idea for a picture book. I had the glimmer of an idea a few years ago (ouch, yes it's been that long!) and have struggled with character, concept, style, and story - mostly in my head since. All the while I felt like I couldn't move on to other story ideas but also couldn't get to a good place with this one.

I spent a lot of quiet night time thinking things over with my newborn, then finally picked up a lined notebook some time ago on a rare early Sunday morning outing by myself and just started writing, drawing, doodling - without boundaries or structure. A few minutes a day, or not for a week at a time. I would write lists of cool names. Doodle heads and faces. Word association. First sentences. All these things mashed together without worrying about where it was going.

And before I knew it I had my characters, I had the overall story, their names, the style. I have miles to go before it's ready to share, even with my peers, but it feels good to get over one hurdle. It's been my dream to write and illustrate but my perfectionist side usually sabotages things right out of the gate.

It's easy to get discouraged looking at all the amazing titles already out, beautiful portfolios, blogs full of progress and finished work. The little sketches above are just rejected starts. Rough and ugly. But it's the stuff you need to plow through to get to the other side, right? And the stuff we sometimes forget everyone goes through.

Flashback Friday

Monoprint, 1996

Sometimes I get so focused on my children's illustration work that I forget that I've been creating art for a much longer time frame in all different media. The above is a monoprint from a printmaking course in college. I have a love and affection for all types of printmaking and while I never mastered ANY, I always enjoyed the rituals and surprising outcomes. This piece is so different from my current work but I see a bit of me within. Bold and simple composition, an attempt at a stylization and simplification of form. I'd like to try and do more Flashback Fridays, I have so many odd pieces that are fun to share.

Where have you been in your path as an artist?

Reading...

Miles and I have this book in heavy rotation:

Lots of little windows for little hands to explore. Big foldout. Fun popup. He's really fascinated and I love finding the little sub-plots throughout. It's holding my attention really well considering we've read this at least 20 times in a week. And of course I'm a huge fan of Delphine Durand which doesn't hurt. *I just discovered this book is only available used, so maybe I shouldn't be so casual about Miles' tugging on windows, haha.

I just got Kathy Griffin's memoir today so I plan on diving into that when I find a free moment. Not sure when I'll have one of those since I'm spinning a few too many plates right now. All fun stuff, but why do opportunities present themselves in avalanches rather than trickles? Hmpph.

Birthday Monkeys from the Past

I was looking for an old illustration to share for today, and since my birthday is next week this seemed like a good choice.

My husband and I usually like to make cards for each other. This was a card for him a few years back. It's always fun to dig through old work and reflect, and get inspiration! Through all my evolutions of media and styles I can find value in certain ideas and layouts. I probably could rework this piece in gouache, but I'm trying to not get too distracted! Lately though I've been focusing on my book dummy. I've tried to work on it a little bit each day, just jotting down notes, ideas, and quick sketches. More to come soon!

Oh, and I was partly inspired to dig through my archives while reading all the great posts over at Illustration for Kids Blog. Fun reads, go check it out!

20 days later...

Wow, I'm terribly remiss in blogging. It's been 20 days since my last post. Tsk tsk! Here are some recent sketches. Nothing worthwhile. Just playing with a brush pen, etc. I liked the little onion-head girl so I played with her some more...

I have all these lofty goals floating around in my head, but if I can tether myself to the earth, perhaps I could just work on blogging twice a week? About whatever it is I'm up to, which changes daily really. I looked back at old blog posts yesterday and realize how much stronger my blog used to be when I was sharing a variety of things - events, shows, books, decorating, other illustrators, etc. I'm going to try to return to that. I'm guilty of beating myself up for not sketching/painting more, or failing at little goals (3 week challenge, hello?) so instead of dwelling in failure I'm just going to move forward. Isn't that what Mondays are for?

Oh, and my friend and critique group member Jen has started a great challenge that sounds about my speed these days - check it out.

Speaking up

That confident girl in the sketch was NOT me as a child! Let me first say I was the type of student who didn't willingly raise their hand until say, post-college. That's not to say I didn't know the answer or have an opinion, I've just always had a hard time speaking in public. As I got into my mid-twenties I felt more confident and had less issues raising hands, leading meetings at work, and overall being a thorn in people's sides if it meant getting a job done (right). However standing in front of a group of strangers and being the focus is NOT my idea of a good time.

Normally I'm very good about promoting any events related to my career, us illustrators need to toot our horn and spread the word. I made an exception by not promoting an illustrator panel I spoke at last night because I was quite nervous about this, my first time presenting work. I really regret not spreading the word because it all went rather well and I really enjoyed myself (after the fact!)

The Merrimac Library in Merrimac, MA hosted myself and fellow illustrators Sean Bixby and Andy J Smith at a panel entitled 'Meet the Illustrators'. Sean and Andy are so talented - I enjoyed seeing their work and hearing their stories as much as the kids! The library is gorgeous, the staff so friendly, and everyone who came was attentive and so nice. I think the best part was talking to the kids afterwards. So fun to hear what they draw, what questions they have, what interests them. Boy, this is a feel good career, isn't it folks?

If you live in the area, be sure to check out Merrimac's summer programs. They have a lot going on and may just have a 'Meet the Illustrator's' event annually. Special thanks to my fellow artists, Tracy, and everyone who came last night!